The NWNHC Family Fund was founded to help families in need experience the healing power of the horse without worrying about the costs.  The fund supports young people and families with equestrian scholarships and subsidizes lodging, meal and professional services fees for family support programs, equine-assisted therapy and family team-building events.  It relies on your love and generosity.

Scholarships

Parents facing the economic challenges of lost employment, single parenting, and other hardships want their child to have the same opportunities as other kids.  They also want to feel that, despite their current challenges, they can provide and support a happy childhood.

Children wishing to participate in horsemanship and riding lessons, summer horse camps and special equestrian clinics and workshops can apply to receive partial or full scholarships to offset expenses.

Military Family Programs

There are many military programs to help warriors transition from the battlefront to the homefront.  Through Wounded Warrior Family Retreats,  families of soldiers who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan can get away to the country for  a weekend retreat and family healing time.  Husbands and wives work with certified instructors and therapists to learn new horse and life skills and reconnect as loving partners.  Children get the opportunity to share their deployment experiences with family therapists and enjoy stress-free, fun time with their parents.  The program helps families address the transition challenges experienced by a soldier returning from a long separation and the realities of war.

Areas of Support

• Horsemanship and riding lessons
• Clinics
• Workshops
• Educational materials
• Event travel and meal expenses
• Transportation
• Equestrian clothing
• Horse leases
• Professional services

How You Can Help

Personal Donation

Make a contribution to the NWNHC Family Fund by supporting its fundraising events or  through a generous monetary gift.

Volunteer

Donate your professional expertise, skills or time to special programs and events supported by the Fund.  Cook a meal, provide child care, donate your professional services or help however you can to show your love and support.

Tell A Friend

Encourage your friends, family and associates to donate to the Fund, have them join you in assisting at the special events or support the activities with in-kind services.  Also, share your connections to help build the business support network needed to house, feed and transport program participants.

You’ve reached a career dead-end, how do you make a job transition? Your heart was broken into a million pieces, how do you survive the days ahead? You’re migrating into another country, how do you face the challenges before you? How do you survive the transition?

Surviving difficult life transitions is one of the most important things we need to know if we desire to live a full and meaningful life. We may not have noticed it, but transition follows us the moment we were born ’til the moment we die. First, we make the transition from childhood to adolescence, from adolescence to adulthood. Then we make the transition from single life to married life, from an active career into retirement.. In between are many other difficult transitions challenging us, sometimes ripping our very hearts apart that we know not how on earth we’re ever going to survive.

How do we survive a sickness and achieve healing? How do we gain wisdom and grow from our immaturity? How are we ever going to rise from our poverty into abundance? From brokenness into wholeness? From darkness to light? From death to eternal life?

What is transition anyways? How do we survive difficult transitions in our life?

TRANSITION is CHANGE. It is a transformation we undergo in order to reach a desired end. In some cultures, it is also called a rite of passage, such as when a male passes from boyhood into manhood and accepts all the powers and responsibilities attributed to his new social position.

Transition is therefore stepping into another level, into another world where we are not so familiar with, where we may not yet be equipped to enter. Transition is that difficult process we make in order to CROSS OVER in that OTHER WORLD.

Following are several things you may find useful in assisting you in the many life transitions you may undergo. I cannot guarantee its completeness nor can I be able to summarize it in 3 easy steps in a way many “how to” articles are done. Transition after all, is not a simple process, and everybody deserves to receive as much assistance as one could possibly get.

1. Understand what’s happening

Before you could go on to any other point or desired end, you must first be able to know what’s really going on at the moment.

What’s taking place at the moment? Why is it taking place? What’s making the situation difficult? Is what you’re going through a natural process that cannot be avoided? If it isn’t, what are the alternatives?

Are you broken hearted from the separation or passing away of a loved one? Surely, you did not intend any of it to happen, but it happened anyway, and the only road that lies before you is the road of healing and recovery from your pain.

Are you frustrated at your current job and planning to move on to the next? Maybe you can first ask yourself why you’re frustrated in the first place. What’s causing your frustration? A grumpy boss perhaps? A jealous officemate? What are your alternative causes of action? Will it be an outright move into another career? Will it only be a change from one company to another? Is there any possible improvement if you should study further and acquire more relevant skills to the position?

Understand what’s going on right where you are. Transition is not a mere EXCUSE or a means of escape from somewhere you’re frustrated to be (even if we do feel it like that!). In fact, transition is the ability to CONNECT TWO different planes of reality.

Transition is the MASTERY of TWO WORLDS and achieving “balance” in the process, said balance being the point where the different forces of the Universe seem to converge and fall into their proper places, creating MIRACLES along the way.

Haven’t you wondered how in various Myths and Legends, there is always that Hero or Heroine who is the offspring of a God and a mortal being? This is because that hero is the one tasked to bridge the gap between heaven and earth, the One who can TRANSCEND two different worlds at the same time! In my article “How do you saved someone who is lost in the dark?” I explained more deeply how the process of uplifting someone very much entails that a redeemer transcend two worlds instead of remaining where he is and giving instructions to one who is utterly lost in her path.

In ancient Philippines, the BABAYLAN (Shaman) is the one who performs a similar task. She (a babaylan is often a female) is the one who communes with the spirit world, the one who lifts up the many prayers of the people in her community. She is the one who connects the physical and the spiritual planes to bring about balance and healing where she is.

Transition is mastery. And to be able to achieve mastery, you must be able to understand what is taking place at the present moment, right where you are.

2. Accept the Difficulty

It is not enough that one undestands what’s going on. One must also ACCEPT “what is” in order to move on to “what there can be”.

You are in poverty perhaps, and I cannot say that where you presently are is a comfortable place to be, it surely isn’t! So why am I talking about acceptance here?

Please do note however that when I say acceptance, I do not mean that one accepts his situation forever. If that were the case, there would be no transition, and nothing else pertaining to change remains to be discussed. When I talk about acceptance, I mean to talk about accepting one’s present condition “for the present moment”. I do not even speak of one whole day, just the present hour, the moment where one is.

“But why the necessity for this?” you may ask. “Aren’t we trying to change because we are not happy where we are in the first place?”

You have a point in there, yet as much as we’d like to achieve change the soonest time possible, we cannot deny the truth in the present circumstance of our life, that point where we want to start our journey towards change.

Understand also that I do not instruct that anyone should be “happy” at this point. One must only accept the present situation where one is and be willing to face its difficulties.

The significance of this step is this: If one would not be willing to accept the difficulty of the moment, one would be DENYING the truth of his present situation. One who denies the truth cannot go anywhere because he cannot face anything, starting from the many difficulties one already has where one is.

Accepting the difficulty in one’s present condition also prepares you to face the other challenges that are sure to come your way when in the process of transition. If you cannot accept your present difficulty, how much more could you not accept the uncertainties and difficulties in the road ahead?

In addition, not accepting your current situation tells that you are exerting much effort at resisting it, resisting something you cannot really change “for now”. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to use that energy instead in devising a feasible plan rather than resisting what already exists? Surrender is a mighty powerful word. It is that calm we see in the eyes of those who though still suffering, are letting go of the urge to fight the unalterable. It is the calm we see in the those whose days are already numbered by a dreaded disease yet still having the zest to live and make the most of each day given them.

Acceptance is the shortest path one can take towards peace. This may be hard truth to chew, but it is possible to have peace even in the midst of difficulties, it is possible to have peace even in the midst of your most painful tears.

That peace is needed in order to have a stable ground with which to start from. Otherwise, we shall only be driven by fear, or anger, or any other strong emotion that clouds our minds and prevents us from seeing things for what they really are. Peace brings us closer to our true nature and restores our connection with our Eternal Source. Seek peace therefore through acceptance.

He who cannot accept his present affliction is bound to live with the thing he resists the most; he who can befriend even his most terrible pain is one who can turn it around and transmute even curses into GIFTS of power and healing.

TRANSITION is ALCHEMY, that ancient science of transmuting even worthless metals into gold!

3. Let your difficulties strengthen you

One other thing your acceptance of your difficulties brought you is the ability to be able to use your difficulties in order to strengthen you and propel you in your transition. Had you denied them, you wouldn’t have even admitted their existence, more so, studied them to be of use to you in your transition. But how could it be so?

Many times, the difficulties we encounter at present signify to us some weakness we must overcome in order to proceed to the next level we’re looking for. If you are familiar with the Law of Attraction, you must have learned that like attracts like in a way that things of similar vibration attract each other. If you vibrate happiness, happiness will come to you. If you vibrate abundance, money will surely come. But in order to do so, you must be the deserving recipient of those blessings. If you wish to acquire things without, you must first work out the things within and everything else will follow.

For instance, you may wish to be a businessman and acquire wealth so you can be of service to many people. At present however, you don’t have much materially, and your difficulty at present is in making both ends meet with your low budget. Maybe you don’t want to experience that difficulty anymore. You just want to be that wealthy businessman who knows all the tricks of the trade to make money at the right place and at the right time. But the fact is, your difficulty in budgeting your expenses may not necessarily disappear the moment you become rich. The fact is, your difficulty may even be amplified as you try to budget not only your own expenses, but the expenses of an entire Corporation that you own! Now how is that?

I am not saying that everyone who can’t come up with a feasible budget from a limited source of income do not have financial skills. But it can be one of your difficulties. At the same time, it can also be one skill you can learn from, a skill that may yet be able to help you achieve your highest dreams.

In order to proceed somewhere, we’ve got to start from where we are and use what we have. You cannot start with nothing. Everything that’s ever been created proceeded from something else. Such is the law of physics that says energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only be transformed.

Even Jesus did not produce wine out of thin air, but rather, he transformed water into wine. When he fed thousands of people, he didn’t produce bread from within some magic sleeves, he made use of the five loaves present and multiplied it to feed five thousand!

What do you have at the moment? Your disappointments? Your tears? Your poverty? Use it and let the Universe help you in transforming it to joy, to abundance, to victory. Remember that even a mighty oak tree wasn’t always the majestic tree it is today, it started from a puny little seed that unleashed its potential, kept its ground, and allowed the nutrients of nature to take its course and create a great miracle.

4. Let a compelling vision propel you

Oftentimes, carrying our crosses is not our main problem. Our main problem is the lack of heaven in our minds with which to strengthen us in carrying our cross!

Have a compelling reason for you to undergo transition, something that is beyond moving away from the negative things you wish to leave behind. Think of what you desire to achieve. Think of the people that will be happy, think of the joy in their eyes. Without said vision, you’ll just be going around in circles not ever landing to where you truly desire to be. In my article “How do you carry your cross?”, I’ve mentioned how Jesus urged us to “follow him” as we take up our cross. Our real goal is not to take up our cross, it is to follow Jesus himself! If you are not enthralled by his glory, if you are not captivated by his beauty and his light, will it be any wonder if you will always complain of how heavy the cross you’re carrying is?

5. Devise a plan and make it flexible

Once you were able to calm down and assess the situation where you are, it is time to devise a workable plan to guide you along the way. Don’t edit your plans so much at the start, but rather, gather as much information and possible strategies as you can. This would be especially helpful as you would have a vast resource available for you, back up plans you can avail of whenever your chose plan does not work out as you expected it to. This would in turn free you from ATTACHMENT to one plan, which more often than not contributes to unnecesary pressure and stress. When I planned for financial freedom and opened a coffee shop of my own, I was glad I didn’t resign from my day job. If I did, and I didn’t know I would go broke then, I would have had nothing to fall back into when all my hard earned earnings were suddenly swept away.

6. Accept that there will be temporary setbacks

No matter how far you have moved on in your journey, there will be times when you fall back or trip over a little bit. Accept that there will be temporary setbacks along the way, but don’t think that just because you encounter them, you cannot make progress anymore. Treat them instead as periods of rest or reflection, of assessing what you have already done, and where you’re really headed. Oftentimes, setbacks are like mirrors reflecting to us an image of what has been happening. It is an indicator and a warning signal that something’s been happening and if you continue on your path now, you’d surely be going further in your chosen path. It’s asking us if we’re sure we want to continue in such a path. It’s giving us the time to assess if we’d like to make last minute changes and move on to another direction.

Have you been broken hearted and felt you’ve already recovered? Then, just when you thought you’ve finally made it through, a painful memory suddenly slips in and brings back every hurt you felt before. Does it mean you haven’t been healed? Does it mean all your efforts at moving on have just been wasted? Of course not!

What it could mean is that not every wound had been patched yet, not every hurt healed. Healing often comes in seasons, one painful memory at a time. If it were not so, we might have been overwhelmed, and we could have seen no point in trying to move on. The next set of healing comes when you have recovered enough, when you have gained enough strength to make it through the difficult process of letting go.

Think of it this way. If you were diagnosed with cancerous tumors and scheduled for chemotherapy, can you survive it if such a therapy is given you in a non-stop manner until every cancerous cell in your body had been wiped out? Those cells may be killed indeed, but so will you!

7. Enjoy the journey

There are transitions we can better enjoy than other kinds. A move into a new country is one. Getting married is another. We usually don’t complain about it but celebrate all the excitement it brings.

Other transitions are more difficult. Losing a loved one for instance, or retiring and losing a job you’ve held for more than half your life. Yet even in these times, know that there are moments you can claim as your very own.

When a boyfriend has betrayed you for someone you believe is not half as beautiful as you are, what do you do? You cry your heart out of course! You cry for the hurt it caused you and for the disgust you feel for the girl he replaced you with. And what do your family and friends usually do? They stay beside you and support you and would do almost anything you tell them too! Now, you’re getting it. People are kinder, they bring you gifts, they treat you to a new movie, they cook dinner for you, they let you win card games when you have pajama parties in your room since you can’t sleep.

Quite often, we don’t notice it and remember it only when it’s too late! One by one your friend excuses herself, a meeting has come up, or a pet has been too sick to be left alone. They notice you’re improving and can now fend for yourself. Bad times are over, but so are all the fun things you could have done with them while you were the one in charge!

8. Don’t make big leaps without sufficient confidence or resources

One mistake I’ve noticed people usually do is to make great leaps of faith when their faith is not so great yet to support their leaps. It is true that faith can indeed move mountains. It is true that whatever you set your mind on to you can achieve. It is true that envisioning your dreams would bring you in closer vibration to making them come true. But whoever said that it is also true for all of us – now?

Some of us are not yet prepared. Many have not yet truly believed. That’s why when things don’t immediately happen as suspected, almost everybody who talked aloud just a while ago departs slowly unto oblivion, blaming everybody else for leading them on to illusions they can never possess.

We build our confidence thru various seasons of testing and strengthening, not in a single instant of jumping in what’s fad. There are many gurus and more gurus to tell you what you want to hear, but remember that in the end, it is you who will live the life that you create. I believe there is a Chinese saying that goes like this – teachers can only open the door for you, but you walk in that door alone.

Don’t walk that door scared and startled. Walk in there with enough confidence that can match the challenges before you in your next step. For goodness’ sake, test the waters with your toe and not your whole body!

Are you trying to seek financial freedom by engaging in a business? Test it first on a small scale and see if there is any market for the product you’re selling. Be wary of get-rich schemes. More often than not, they are get-broke-quick schemes driven to take away what little capital you have that you could have invested wisely somewhere else.

Take intermediary steps that can help you proceed to the next level. When I was younger, I didn’t know how I could help my family financially. We were poor, we had no connections, we have no rich relatives that can help lift us up. The only way I worked my way thru was having a good education. One small step at a time, I was able to graduate from an elementary public school. In highschool, I was able to get a scholarship. The same thing with college where the country’s biggest auditing firm had me as their scholar until I took my board exams. It was not easy, but I’ve made progress and built my confidence from each achievement that came my way.

9. Keep what’s important, forget it not

Moving on does not mean letting go of everything that has happened and that has made you who you are. Being able to transcend into a new being doesn’t mean nullifying the person you were before. You will be a different person, but in many ways, you will still be the same. If you will not, you will be lost as a mist that has quickly vanished in the light of the bright noonday sun.

Keep what is worth keeping, let go what has only been an outer shell you thought were your true essence. Keep the happy memories with the ones you love, with the places you’ve been to. Keep the lessons learned, the wisdom gained, the power and strength and the legacy that has been passed on to you by countless beings that have guided you to be where you are now. Forget them not. Forget not who you are.

10. Accept and celeberate the new

Not many people are willing to accept the new because not many are willing to let go of the old. No matter how broken their old self was, they find it hard to leave it and be made anew. Few men live again because few men are willing to die in order to have new life.

Realize that for something to be created, something has to be destroyed. For one thing to be embraced, another has to be left behind. We cannot serve two masters at the same time. It would not benefit us if we stand always at the fork in the road, never making a choice, never making any mistake, but never making any progress as well, and never being able to live life to the full.

Accept the new and celebrate it. It is the only way you can give honor to the old, by being a better you, the you that could never have been had you always remained scared of seeking out the best that you can be.

Life indeed is a transition. We see it in the passing of each season, in the rising of the sun and in its setting, in the evaporation of raindrops and in its pouring down again unto the sea. Life must transcend for life to thrive. He who chooses not to transcend has already chosen to decay and to die. In that way, nature still wins. For in every death is a new birth, in every ending a beginning waiting to be unleashed.

The transition lover is usually the first serious relationship partner after a divorce. We may have met them while going through the divorce or shortly afterward.

The transitional lover fills an immediate need but usually not the long term needs of a newly divorced person. The transitional lover provides comfort and validation. They are probably a good (if not spectacular) sex partner. But the relationship is usually doomed.

Suppose you had a job that required all of your time for the last ten years, night and day. You cleared your life of everything else to do the job, and then the job ended. You may have enjoyed the work and you may be unhappy that it has ended. Or you may have dreaded going to work every day and are elated that it is finally over.

But now what? Unless you have an excellent retirement plan or sufficient funds to quit working entirely, you’ll search for another job. If you don’t have the resources to wait for the right job, you’ll probably take the first job that’s offered and leave it when the right job comes along.

It’s the same with transitional love and lovers. In a relationship, the resources to wait for the right person come from within. So do the resources to be happy with your life whether or not another person is a committed part of it.

If you need someone to complete you or to make you happy, you’re not ready for a serious relationship. Only you can complete you, only you have control over your happiness.

If you don’t take the time for “me work” after your divorce, if your needs are too great to wait, you will fall in love with the first person who fits your current needs.

The first years after a divorce are the most dangerous times for making relationship commitments as they may be temporary at best. To keep from hurting others, it is best to travel on our self-realization journey alone. Transition love occurs when we take a passenger with us.

Somewhere along the journey, the transitional lover no longer fits our needs and we dump them. They are confused and hurt because the relationship has ended. We wonder what we ever saw in them in the first place.

I’ve gone from being the owner of a home for more than thirty-five years–in a Midwestern neighborhood–to becoming an apartment renter. My initial response was “so what?” But current research has a lot to say about that “so what?” and points to a similar change needed in our culture for people to succeed in their careers. That’s not the understanding or the objective I grew up with, but there it is. Stay tuned for an explanation that applies even more to Gen-Yers.

If you’re in the job market, you may want a job quickly. Few job seekers—even high-level managers—can sustain a job search for more than three or four months without suffering. There’s something inside us that says, “I have to be working . . . and I have to be working now.”Job hunting can be a tough road. The job search has been described as “the highest highs” and “the lowest lows.” From beginning to end, it’s often an emotional roller coaster.

The market is highly competitive. There are usually more applicants than jobs, and supply exceeds demand. It’s often lonely, because everyone else is working, and you have way too much free time.

In addition, job hunting is sales, and you’re probably not a salesperson. More than likely, you’re an accountant, a factory worker, a technical specialist, or a manager. Sales is unfamiliar, uncomfortable territory. Without help, you might make costly, time-consuming mistakes and stay unemployed longer than necessary. Why take a risk?

Every job search is different. It’s possible to talk to a recruiter or hiring manager, take a short interview, and be hired on the spot. But that’s rare. It’s more normal to agonize, to have ups and downs, to suffer rejection and disappointment, and to confront realities you don’t like, either in yourself or in the world at large. Although every job hunt is different, a typical transition is somewhat predictable, and these are the eleven steps along the way:

 
1. Job Loss
   Sometimes change is forced: you’re fired outright or lose your job in a corporate reorganization. Other times, change is self-initiated: you lose faith in the boss, the company, your skills, or your career future—and you decide it’s time to move on. Whether your change is forced or self-initiated, it’s still difficult, because change itself is difficult.
2. Focus
   You know you need a job, but you’re not sure what to do. Should you continue on your current path or try something new? You’re confused and need direction. You talk to friends, read career books, and seek advice. You want to choose the right course, and you’re afraid to make a mistake.
3. Resume
   Trying to get all your life experience onto one or two pages is frustrating, even angering. As you “waste time on the resume,” you note a sense of urgency and begin to feel you’re not getting anywhere.
4. Cover Letters
   You prepare letters to friends and begin answering want ads. Once your letters are in the mail, there’s a lag time before the phone starts ringing. You’re increasingly impatient.
5. Networking
   Calling to ask for appointments is somewhat frightening. You feel like you’re begging and “using your friends,” but once you get the hang of it, it’s great fun! You discover that others do want to help. However, you lose patience quickly, because informational meetings aren’t “real interviews.”
6. Job Search
   You’re now Vice President of Sales and Marketing for your own company, “Me, Inc.” Hustle is the name of the game. You attend organizational meetings, write to companies, take friends to lunch, and do anything and everything possible to develop job leads.
7. Interviewing
   The phone rings and you’re invited to an actual job interview. You’re scared and nervous. This could be the big one, and you could mess it up. You read books on interviewing, role-play difficult questions, and touch up your wardrobe. If the meeting goes well, you’re high; if not, you’re low. Either way, you’re often kept waiting, and waiting is painful.
8. Disappointment
   Midway in the process you “hit the wall.” Although you’ve tried your best, you don’t feel you’ve gotten anywhere. Nothing seems to be working. You get discouraged and feel you haven’t done anything right. You get angry, irritable, and want to quit. Perhaps you can’t get interviews; or if you can, no offer is forthcoming. Sometimes the perfect job you’ve been counting on falls through and you have to start over. Regardless of the reasons, you fight frustration, confusion, self-doubt, anger—and especially impatience. In such situations, these inspirational ideas might help you.
9. Job Offer
   Finally, you receive a specific job offer. It’s not perfect, but it’s worth discussing. This lifts your spirits. You get on the phone and fan the flames of other warm leads. If you’re lucky, this produces a second or third offer.
10. Salary Negotiations
    Most companies have fixed salary structures, and there isn’t much room to negotiate. You negotiate within the limits. Usually, if you like the company and they like you, salary isn’t a deal killer. You reach quick agreement.
11. New Beginnings
    Once you accept an offer, you feel a tremendous sense of relief—and so do your family and friends. Now you can go back to being a human being. You feel good about life and look forward to your future. You send thank yous to everyone who’s helped.”Next time,” you say, “this whole process will be much, much easier. And I hope there is no next time.” 

     

 

A career transition, which involves moving from a standard desk job, where the employee does not carry out any physical labor, to an outdoor job will require a health check-up. The employee should take into account his abilities prior to opting for a career transition. This could indicate working out in the gym, or focusing on getting into shape before appearing in front of a potential employer.

In case there are primary health grounds for not undertaking to lift heavy objects, handling demanding physical activity or for spending extended hours standing up, the employee might search somewhere else for a job and a career transition.

Alternatively, a career transition from hard outdoor labor to a cozy office job could be a wonderful way to gradually deal with health-related issues as an employee grows old or his condition deteriorates. If an employee has to contend with sore muscles and fatiguing conditions of work outdoors, then the decision to go for a career transition should be taken into account. At this point, courses that have to do with administration skills and computer skills could be worthwhile.

Opt for a career transition based on your requirements, but prior to sending in your resume and cover letter, make certain that all the essential skills and qualities for this new employment opportunity have been attended to. When deciding which career would be best in case of a career transition, the employee has to assess his likings and aversions, his skill levels and his interests. In case of a disability, a career transition is necessary; when choosing an alternative career, this employee has to carefully weigh the pros and cons in order to find the perfect job for himself.

Before making a career transition, take into account the age, aptitude, interest and the possibility of advancement and job fulfillment. The ordeal involved when an employee considers a career transition can have an impact on his family and friends. Not able to stay in touch colleagues can lead to stress. Putting in unusual hours of work, longer commute times, relocating, or traveling for extended periods can severely disrupt family life. Spouses, partners and children should be sounded out before an employee settles on a career transition.

An employee decides on a career transition in order to lead a better life. He can achieve this by locating a new work place that trains him in the latest skills, draws on the old skills and abilities, and which is conducive to his health and way of life. Before going in for any major career transition, he should consider the negative aspects and make certain his family benefits in the long term.

Now there are numerous ways by which an employee can enhance his lifestyle by way of a career transition. All that is required is for him to search out a fresh career and look for employment in his new preferred area.

A lot of people take business transition decisions only when they are faced with an irrecoverable problem such as the diagnosis of a chronic disease. At such a time, the question of who will take over their business hits them hard in the face and they end up taking a lot of wrong decisions.

Your business is extremely important to you. You have nurtured it and grown it and now it is important to you that someone in your family takes it over when you are no more. However, it is important also that you should make the transition process easier for them.

You have to decide whom you want to give your business to. If you will have several survivors this is a crucial decision to make. If you were to leave abruptly without nominating someone as the future owner of your business, you may leave them bickering and quarreling for their share in what each one of them thinks is rightfully theirs.

Another thing that you have to do is to leave the person you have nominated enough liquidity so that they can run the business. Good business transition planning makes sure of that. It shouldn’t happen that this person has to take out a loan to run the business, which eventually proves unprofitable to them and they sell it outside the family.

So, when there is still time, you need to get in touch with a business transition attorney and tell them of your planning. Let them know how you want things to continue when you won’t be around anymore and you may be able to rest in peace in quite a literal sense.

To make a positive career transition, the key is in assessing your current wants and needs and matching it to what season of life you are currently experiencing. At the beginning of your career you will make different career transition choices due to life style, goals and passion. So, what SEASON is your career currently in? Spring and new growth; Summer and stretching/extremes; Fall and change; or Winter and self reflection?

To help you assess and determine the season of your career, use the following self evaluation questions.

Career Transition for SPRING

Spring denotes growth. Your career is blossoming and full of new life. Spring occurs at the stage in your career in which you have energy and vision. Are you adding to your career goals? Maybe you have just started learning a new skill set. Are you currently challenged within your career? Are you discovering new processes or products to advance your career goals? If so, then you might be in the Spring of your career.

Career Transition for SUMMER

Summer means the heat of it. With Summer, one can feel stretched or maybe even experience extremes much like drought, or even flooding. You may be unsure about how to move forward at this season of your career since the time is short and you feel as if you are just keeping your head above water! Are you overwhelmed with the workload and see no end in sight? Are you experiencing problems sleeping at night? Or do you feel that projects are drying up but the pressure to increase sales or customer satisfaction is always present? If so, then you might be in Summer of your career transition.

Career Transition for FALL

Fall says change is inevitable. Change is coming and it is going to happen whether or not you like it. It is important to read the signs at this stage of your career and to make the adjustment to change as necessary. Am I reading the signs that my job or company is going to change? Am I looking for ways to learn new concepts or skills so that I can add value to the organization? Am I stepping forward by taking on new projects or responsibilities? If so, then you just might be experiencing the Fall career season.

Career Transition for WINTER

Winter takes on that subtle internal growth. Winter is a time of self-reflection. Others may not necessarily see the growth happening within you. Winter growth is not seen on the outside but seeds are being planted and you are preparing for growth. In the Winter of a career transition we think about what we want to become by Spring. We may be looking to trim some fat or become stronger in a certain area. Are you resetting career goals like a New Year’s Resolution? Have you found yourself considering going back to school for an MBA? Maybe you are reading more articles on self or career development concepts, or how-to books. Then, you may be in the Winter of your career transition.

All of the above seasons describe the different career transitions we go in and out of throughout our lifetime. You might experience two or more of these seasons going on at the same time! The key is to first know where you are in them and then to set out a plan to move into the season you desire. Seek out those resources or professionals that can help you move from one season to another without experiencing the pain of making costly mistakes. Look forward to these positive changes in your career!

It’s a crisis because you’re feeling unstable, realizing that you’re at a crucial turning point. It’s a transition because you’re making the passage from one thing to the next and feeling out of control. Nobody likes feeling out of control. This is especially true when making a career transition – either changing from one type of job to another, or moving from being traditionally employed to being a solo preneur.

Transitions are rough. They’re hard on your body, spirit, and emotions. They’re tough on the people around you, your wallet, and your ego. Major life transitions beat you up, roll you over, and spit you out the other side. Even if you planned your transition ahead of time, had all the kinks ironed out, and had everything lined-up and ready to go, chances are . . . it’s still going to be rough.

The good news is that there are things you can do to stabilize your transition. Here are the 10 main things I did to ease my transition from working in the ivory tower of academia to starting up and becoming a successful small business owner.

10 Inner Practices for the Transitioning Soul

1. Allow the process. Big change often feels like death, as if an old part of you must die in order for the new part of you to be born. The birthing of something new requires a deep integration. So allow that to happen. Some things will cease to be. Others will take on a new form.

2. Stay in charge of your happiness. Understand that you determine your happiness – not someone or something outside you.

3. Reach beyond what you fear. Don’t go through it. Reach beyond to something greater, something more important than what you fear.

4. Trust that everything in your life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to be. Spend as little time as possible asking why or looking for answers. Trust and know.

5. Make your inner voice the predominant voice you listen to. Turn to others for support. Turn inward for guidance. Not the other way around.

6. Remain unattached to outcome. Fretting about the future or worrying about the past keep you attached. Stop doing both, and you’ll be surprised at the number of doors that open, pathways that light up, and possibilities that present themselves to you.

7. Stay connected. Don’t allow your fears to multiply by isolating yourself. Remain in contact with family and friends who support your vision, and stay involved with leisure activities that you enjoy.

8. Take good care of yourself with a balanced, healthy lifestyle. Eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and get plenty of sleep. Weekly massages are terrific at releasing and balancing the body.

9. Meditate and practice T’ai Chi or Chi Qong to center and ground yourself, increase your energy, and sooth your psyche.

10. Avoid jumping into anything new too soon. Go slowly. When your life is disrupted by a transition – even one you initiate – it takes time to adjust to the new reality. Use that time to reflect and think about what is really best for you.

Will doing these ten things make your career transition crisis go away? No. However, they will go a long way toward giving you some breathing room to explore what matters most to you and how you’d like your life to be. Doing these inner practices will help relax the tension in your body, clear away the fog of confusion in your mind, and allow your inner voice to speak to you. Getting in touch with your inner voice and allowing it to guide you will put you back in the driver’s seat and turn your career crisis into a career transformation.

“My first experience with the word love, or related to love, was when I was four or five. In the kitchen, mother was preparing a cake, my favorite cake, a cheesecake. The smell was the smell of love. She opened the oven and I told her, ‘I love you!’ She closed the oven, came to give me a kiss, and told me, ‘I love you, too.’ Then she gave me a big portion of the cake and I knew she really meant it when she said, ‘I love you’.”

– 40-year-old man

“Mother loved us so much, she cooked all Thanksgiving day. She was so happy to see her family all together again, around the table, eating . . . so much love around the table, so much food. We could not stop eating.”

– 36-year-old woman

“When you are little, parents are there to care for and protect you. You have no care or worries. If something bad happens, your family is there for you. I miss this protection.”

– 58-year-old woman

“The best way to describe my parents’ room is a nest. The carpet was light brown and the walls were blue. The bed was in the center of the room and had a huge white comforter. It was on this bed that I sat with my mother as a child and asked her about the world.”

– 21-year-old man

“I remember lying in my mother’s lap in my early years. I remember talking with my mother and sharing caresses.”

– 65-year-old man

Consistently, participants related their first experience of love to their mother’s care — feeding them, holding them, making them feel safe. This is entirely understandable. After all, for nine months, our mothers provide us with the most perfect “resort hotel” imaginable. The room service is first-rate and available immediately upon demand, the space is neither too hot nor too cold, transportation is free, and there’s even a musical backdrop (her heartbeat) for entertainment. And even though we ultimately must leave this vacation paradise, our mothers are there for us to guide us through the transition, feeding us with their bodies, keeping us coddled and warm, taking us out to see the world, and providing numerous ways for us to occupy our time and delight in the act of learning.

The nature of these responses was very consistent with the thinking of an adolescent culture. Adolescents, after all, flit from pressing for independence to acting like children throughout this period of their lives. When in the latter mode, they seek the succor (inwardly if not outwardly) of their mothers, the safe harbor provided by that all-encompassing love.

Then there is the former mode, the mode that demands a rejection of home and the right to make one’s own mistakes. When I asked participants to recall their most powerful memories of love, different stories emerged.

“I went to college. I was so happy. Free at last. But it did not go so well. First time I started drinking, I could not stop. Then I don’t know what happened next, I was so sick. None of the boys who were after me the night before were there to help me.”
– 50-year-old woman

“I was 13 and I liked a boy but he liked someone else. This taught me a big lesson because I thought that I was prettier than her and she was fat, but I was spoiled and sometimes mean.”

– 24-year-old woman

“My most powerful experience is when my parents decided to separate. I found out eavesdropping on their discussions late at night. Things were tense, but everyone wanted to be normal.”

– 37-year-old man

“I have an image of a white beautiful horse and a blonde beautiful woman in a flowing crepe-like dress with a lush green forest and waterfall and a handsome man meeting and embracing her. I long to be that woman.”

– 38-year-old woman

This was a different component of the adolescent experience: the part where experimentation leads to exhilaration and disappointment, to success and failure. The vast majority of these stories expressed some level of discomfort, of uneasiness with the events described, much in the way an adolescent describes experiences he doesn’t like and doesn’t understand. Remember, these stories were about the most powerful memory of love.

Perhaps the most significant element of the adolescent experience, however, is the loss of innocence. There comes a point in every adolescent’s life when he realizes his ideals aren’t as gilded as they once seemed. This realization usually leads to new maturity and the acquisition of new coping tools. It also often comes, though, with a sense of disillusionment. When participants wrote of their most recent memory of love, they repeatedly told the story of lost ideals.

“I know what boys want. They say they love you, but I know what they want.”

– A 35-year-old woman

“I have three children from three different fathers who died in drive-by shootings. Before I die, I want once again to have a baby, to feed him, to love him, and to be loved unconditionally.”

– A 15-year old woman

“I purchased a diamond for my girlfriend. I recall her taking it off in the car while we were arguing and I became infuriated. I took the ring and threw it out the window. I told her since it meant so little to her I threw it away.”

– 31-year-old man

These three sets of stories — the first imprint, the most powerful memory, and the most recent memory — revealed a distinctly American pattern. Participants spoke repeatedly about the desire for love, the need for love, the belief in something called “True Love,” but they also spoke consistently about being disappointed in this quest. A very large percentage of the “most recent memory” stories spoke of loss, bitterness, and sadness. When it comes to love, Americans — regardless of their ages — view love the way an adolescent views the world: as an exciting dream that rarely reaches fulfillment.

The American Culture Code for love is FALSE EXPECTATION.

Without question, losing at love is an international experience. Even in cultures where marriages are arranged and courtship is rare, there are tales of forbidden love and the sad consequences when that love dies. In older cultures, though — ones that passed through adolescence centuries ago — the unconscious message about the expectations for love are very different.

In France, the concepts of love and pleasure are intertwined. The French consider the notions of true love and “Mr. Right” irrelevant. The refinement of pleasure is paramount and romance is a highly sophisticated process. Love means helping your partner achieve as much pleasure as possible, even if this requires finding someone else to provide some of this pleasure. French couples can of course be devoted to one another, but their definition of devotion differs greatly from the American definition (fidelity, for instance, is not paramount) and their expectations are set accordingly.

The Italians believe that life is a comedy rather than a tragedy and that one should laugh whenever possible. They expect love to contain strong dimensions of pleasure, beauty, and, above all, fun. If love becomes too dramatic or too hard, it is unsatisfying. The Italian culture centers very strongly on family and Italians put their mothers up on pedestals. To them, true love is maternal love. Therefore, their expectations for romantic love are lower. Men romance women, but seek true love from their mothers. Women believe that the best way to express and experience love is by becoming mothers. A man is “Mr. Right” as long as he provides a child.

The Japanese offer perhaps the best illustration of the differences in attitudes toward love between an adolescent culture and an older culture. Japanese men and women often ask me to describe how westerners marry. I tell them that a young man meets a young woman (often one younger than he is himself) and they begin the process of getting to know one another. If he happens to fall deeply in love, the man will ask the woman to marry him, and if she loves him as well, she will say yes. (Obviously, it’s more complicated that this in practice, but I get the main points across this way.)

Stunned expressions always meet this description. “The man is young?” the Japanese questioner will say. “If he is young, how can he possibly have enough experience to make a decision of this type? Only his parents can know what kind of marriage is appropriate for him and will allow him to raise the best family. And you say the woman is younger. That means she is even less experienced than he is!”

They save their greatest contempt, though, for the notion that westerners marry for love. “Love is a temporary disease,” they tell me. “It is foolish to base something as important as the creation of a family on something so temporary.” This is still the prevalent sensibility in Japan today, even though the “content” of the Japanese culture has changed. While Japanese teens might date more often than their parents did and might spend more time meeting up at clubs, most marriages are still arranged, and few have anything to do with romance. While this all might sound terribly harsh to American ears, there is at least some logic in this sentiment. While nearly half of all American marriages end in divorce, the Japanese divorce rate is less than 2%.

This is not to suggest that older cultures automatically have a clearer vision of the world. In fact, as you will see over the course of this book, there are many instances where the “adolescent” approach is the more effective one. When it comes to love, however, it is obvious that the American culture is currently in an uneasy place. A woman searches for “Mr. Right” because she believes the stories she reads in books or watches at the movies, finds someone she believes she can “change” into her ideal man, and disappointedly sees her efforts fail. A man searches for “Ms. Perfect” for many of the same reasons, finds a woman who excites him, believes it will stay this way forever, and becomes disappointed when motherhood takes her interests elsewhere.

This quest for perfection is, of course, on Code — our cultural unconscious compels us to have unrealistically high standards for love. However, as that 50% divorce rate indicates, the Code isn’t making our lives easier. Here is a case where an understanding of the Code can help those frustrated by love to go off Code in a productive manner. If you realize your unconscious expects you to fail, you can begin to look at love with more sensible goals. While understanding and respecting the tug to find “Mr. Right” or “Ms. Perfect,” one can look for someone who can be a partner, a friend, and a caring lover who can’t possibly fulfill all of one’s needs.

A prominent diamond company deals with the Code in a distinctive fashion. One component of its marketing focuses on the “false expectations” the American subconscious feels about love: its ads feature couples using diamonds to profess their forever love or to confirm their commitment after years together. Another component of its marketing, however, deals with the consequences of false expectations in a clever manner: highlighting the investment and re-sale value of diamonds. Both campaigns are strongly on Code, addressing our undying belief in the permanence of romantic love and providing a useful benefit when that belief fails to pan out.